Maths Competition 2011

Yesterday, my maths teacher was all “Circle geometry bla bla bla bla bla bla oh and tomorrow you’re doing the maths competition period one and two.” and I was all “eh?”

So this morning, I very very excitedly lined up with my extension class to do this fun fun fun maths competition. Oh, the joy. There’s nothing I like more than maths competitions. So, I sit down at one of the many tables, amongst all these random annoying year nine students doing their year nine maths competition and talking about fairies and happiness and how very much they enjoy being annoying little year nine pricks. I think you can tell I like year nine at my school.

Anyway, after doing the whole “fill out your name by colouring in the bubbles and please make sure it’s correct because we don’t want weird wrong names on the certificates,” the time starts. When I start the competition, things are lookin’ pretty good. This is the easiest test I’ve ever done, man!

Soon, however, the test changes. It did it on purpose, I know. It was all “Lol, Dom. How cute. Thinks I’m easy. I’ll show him.”

It's around here where I give up and start daydreaming. Wasn't it a beautiful summery day today?

Then you start getting those weird-ass questions they write, that are just so random and stupid, like they’re all “quick! we need a real-life scenario to model algebra!” “Oh, I have the PERFECT question!”

But it gets better. Right as I was wondering, “Seriously. Who the hell writes these questions?!” I come across this absolute gem.

That’s right. Irrational Spider. Irrational Spider. Will this be a new meme?

I can’t even imagine what was going through the head of whoever wrote this. I’m pretty sure they’re either not sane or on drugs. But they’re mathematicians, lol, so who knows. Were they simply sitting at home, thinking about how fucking awesome maths is, when they saw a spider in the corner, and went, “Hmm.. spider? LOL Imagine if there was an irrational spider that was completely irrational! HAHAHAHAHAHA.” *smokes joint*

Anyway, with around 10 minutes left, I see I’ve only done around 12 of the 30 questions. I’m too busy thinking about the Irrational Spider and glancing over at this one year nine student who seems to be eating the test paper or something. When it hits two minutes left, I enter what I call “Intelligent Sequenced Pattern Answering Mode,” otherwise known as “hmm, I haven’t used C in a while.” Very shortly, time’s up, and I triumphantly put my pencil down, knowing that whatever happens, I’ll still get a Participation award.

I don’t know when they’re going to force us to do another maths competition, but I certainly hope it’s full of all the same fun and entertainment of this one. Will the Irrational Spider make a comeback? What happens in the year 2012 to Paul and his retarded questions? We may never know.

(they shouldn’t have let us keep the question booklet, lol.)