So even though it’s the end of the year and everyone else has finished school and relaxing in the sun and going to disco dance parties in tight leather and polka dots, my school is all “Ha. Hahaha. Ha ha ha HA. No!”
So pretty much the past week has been spent in the joyous happiness of exams. And the worst thing that can happen in an exam is this.
HACK HACK HACK COUGH COUGH SPLUTTER COUGH COUGH
My God, are they OK?!
COUGH COUGH HACK HACK SPLUTTER COUGH COUGH COUGH
They should really go to a doctor! It sounds very bad.
COUGH HACK HACK SPLUTTER COUGH COUGH COUGH
Ok… you can stop coughing now. I’m trying to concentrate.
COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH HACK SPLUTTER COUGH SNORT
Seriously… what the fuck is wrong with you?! Are you dying?! Stop it this instant.
COUGH COUGH SPLUTTER HACK HACK COUGH SNORT COUGH
If you cough one more time I am going to shove a shamwow down your throat.
I am also not particularly fond of people who write too much. These people, they should not exist. These people who write entire pages, who put up their hand asking for their bloody fifth extra writing booklet when you’re up to page two of your first. They should be attached to rocket-ships and blown out into space. No, actually, that’s not fair. I bet they’d still be writing up near Jupiter or some shit and annoying the Jupitarians. No one ever thinks of the Jupitarians!!! We’d probably even get a telegram.
I’m also becoming a bit obsessed with Amarillo cheese fries. We went out to dinner the other day and it went a bit like this:
Sister: Dom, what do you want?
Me: I want Amarillo cheese fries.
Sister: They don’t have those here. Choose something else.
Me: Ask them to put cheese and bacon on their chips.
Sister: No, I’m not asking them to do that!
Me: And ranch dressing! You need ranch dressing!
Sister: Dom, I’m not going to ask them to do that.
Me: *puppy dog eyes*
Sister: NO.
Me: PLEEEEAAASEEE. IT’S THE ONLY THING I EVER WANT.
Sister: NO.
Me: Look, here’s a recipe! Give them my iPhone. They can follow the recipe!
Sister walks away.
Me: Ninny poo.
